If You Think You Are Beaten, You Are

I remember when I was still in first year high school.  Our adviser would post all the names of the class who got good grades from Top 1 to Top 50. We are fifty in the class and it was embarrassing but it was true that out of the 50 students I was always number 49.  I had a very poor self-esteem then, I believe that it was because of poverty and the poor condition of my two front teeth were the major causes of my very poor self-perception.  In spite of my poor school performance, my father would still pretend to be very proud of me. He said that at least I won over one classmate.  The same self-esteem was carried on until my Second Year High School and  my situation had worsen  due to my sinusitis. I was so sickly that I had colds and cough for one whole year and my grades never improved.   

One time, during a summer vacation, I stole my older sister’s diary where I read a poem which I memorized and recited every day.  The poem follows:

“If you think you are beaten, you are,

If you think you dare not, you don’t

If you like to win, but you think you can’t,

It is almost certain you won’t.

“If you think you’ll lose, you’re lost

For out of the world we find,

Success begins with a fellow’s will-

It’s all in the state of mind.

“If you think you are outclassed, you are,

You’ve got to think high to rise,

You’ve got to be sure of yourself before

You can ever win a prize.

“Life’s battles don’t always go

To the stronger or faster man,

But soon or late the man who wins

Is the man WHO THINKS HE CAN!”

I put and pasted this  in my heart and in my mind.  

Amazingly, the poem  worked like magic into my very poor self-esteem.  When I was in Third Year High School, my health had improved and best of all I was at the top 10 of the class.  I do not know how this poem had manifested but I started to believe in myself and the things I can do in spite of poverty and my poor health.  In my Fourth Year High School, I rose to top 2 or top 3 in the class.  I recognized that  I was a late bloomer at this stage of my life.  Also I graduated in that small school as third  honor, (for some reasons I cannot remember on why  I did not go to school during the awarding).

I truly agree that if we believe we can, then we can do it. No matter what the trials are and how hard the test would be.  I had several ups and downs after my high school graduation. Now that I  am a professional I am working toward one definite goal in my life and I back it up  with DETERMINATION, PERSISTENCE AND FAITH.  The journey would still be far but I will keep the CONVICTION.

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Story of Tarsela, A Woman In A Distant Village

On our way to the Village.

One of the unforgettable memories I have from community development work was a trip to a distant village in the Cordillera Administrative Region, Philippines. It took me and my companions four (4) hours walk from the center of  the town to reach  the village.

When we arrived, the people were so happy to meet us. They prepared so much for our visit, they prepared hot tea and sweet potatoes. Some even offered us  a body  massage before going to sleep. Of course, we accepted the offer as our muscles ache from the laborious hike. 

There is no farm to market road in the village.  It is obvious that the farmers have difficulty in marketing their crops.  However, in spite of poverty, what touches me most is their language of love and contentment. 

A woman named Tarsela invited us to her small nipa house, she introduced her father who is about 90 years old and her 2 daughters aged 7 and 4 years old. It is sad that before Tarsela's youngest was born, her spouse left her for another woman. But that did not make Tarsela gave up her life, she said she had her father and two children to take good care of. 

Tarsela was not educated and barely finished grade 3. She's not skilled of anything except farming. One thing that also touched me is her passion to take good care of the environment that she promotes organic farming. It is known that people in the community would rather use synthetic fertilizers to give them more income. However, even in Tarsela's poverty, she chose to take good care of the environment by using organic fertilizers.

Tarsela said she's lucky to have a sack of carrots during the harvest. She would usually carry 50kg of her product and hike for four hours to reach the town. Upon reaching the town, she needed to transport her goods to the city which is 2 hours away by bus. She would be lucky enough if she could sell her goods at a higher price at the Trading Post. Whatever is her income would be good enough again to survive 3 or 6 months until the next harvest. Just imagine if her carrots would be sold at Php 4.00 per kilo and she had 50 kg only. That would be around  P200.00 or around $5 only. The amount is not even enough to compensate all the hard work she had.  However, with the Php200.00 on hand, she would be happy to go home. "It's better to go home with something rather than nothing at all," she said.

Tarsela also gave us her best product for the day, she gave us  half of the best peanuts she had harvested.  We refused to accept the gift and she refused to accept payment. It seems disrespectful not to accept the gift so we took it. It's all she got but still she gave it away as a gift to a stranger like myself.

Her story awakens the conscience in me and I would love to talk about contentment. Sometimes people tend to forget on what really matters in this life.  Sometimes we are raised to aim for more and dream for more at any cost. 

My experience with Tarsela is something I would not want to forget. No matter what we aim for in this life, we should always base it to the basic principle of  humanity and that is on love peace and kindness. Contentment is also one thing but we should never stop dreaming and working for our goals.

With my experience in that distant community, I want to aim for more success and  I want to carry Tarsela with me and all the Tarsela's in this world.

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Professor Sylvia Tacudog and Her Legacy as a Great Teacher

On the first day of our Social Work class back in year 2000, I was so happy to find out that all of my classmates were shifters from different courses in our school. Some of my classmates were from the College of Natural Sciences, College of Education, and many of us were from the College of Accountancy. 

Well,  I dreamed of becoming an Accountant  but I ended up looking for a course that has fewer math subjects and I ended up in BS Social Work. 

When our teacher came in for the first day of our Social Work I Subject, the first thing she asked us was on why we took up Social Work. With the lost and frustrated answers  we had, (sometimes some students felt like a failure when they shifted from their original course, I felt like a failure back then for not making it to BS Accountancy)she realized that we were all shifters in that class; she got crazy mad and shouted that Social Work department is not a dump site of failures. 

She promised us that we would realize later that Social Work as a major is not a trash at all.  Since that very first day, she truly made sure that every day of our four years in the department was a day of butterflies in the stomach and knees shaking. 

Our teacher is Professor Sylvia Tacudog. During classes, she usually asked us out of this world questions. It was really difficult to think and look for answers to her questions back then. To avoid embarrassment and to at least get a score for the oral quiz, I would just say something. And she would reply that my response was miles and miles away from planet Earth.

I remember a time when she showed me her list, she said I scored One Million.  I saw my name with plenty of zeros and she said I answered correctly but once only. The rest were 0 and accordingly those were the times I wasn’t able to answer or my response was miles away from the topic.

She’s comical but somehow when I was a student I was mad because my grades were my life.  We considered her examination as bar exams or more than that. Also, being embarrassed in front of the class is normal and a norm. I think almost everyone was used to it but of course except for some bright and hardworking classmates who really find time to read and review. 

I was a library working student then and I had the chance to cull out all the Social Work books but to no avail I thought that her examinations were taken from Planet Jupiter. I have thought that maybe Madam Sylvia’s brain is a brain of an alien and not of human. There were times that a number of students had to fail and hate Madam Sylvia more. In my case I really needed to bury myself into reading since failing one subject would mean the suspension of my working scholarship. (Thankfully, I never failed any of her subjects)

As years went by and we were near of finally graduating its where my batch mates and I realized how passionate Madam Sylvia as a teacher was. We have come to love her not only as teacher but as a mother as well. Subsequent to 98% of our batch passing the Licensure Examination for Social Workers, we have come to love her more. I realized that she’s someone who gave her everything, someone who worked beyond the call of duty. A teacher who  taught us to see the forest and not just the tree. A teacher who forced us to work and think outside the box. She led us on how to dance with life. She forced us to widen our visions as a student and not just depend on the theories we read from books. She touched our lives so meaningfully that somehow I can say that a piece of her will always be   a part of me.

Now that I practice Social Work I usually met many of her former students who were from older and younger batches and we felt really home where ever we are since Maam Sylvia is our common ground. We shared the same stories of embarrassment in front of the class or the one million eggs we got from class recitation. But somehow, perhaps the class embarrassment became our foundation which made us to bravely speak in front of a crowd whoever the audience may be as long as we believe that we are right and we are fighting for something. Also, I am proud to say that the forty something shifters in our Social Work 1 subject are now located in many parts of the world and are successful Social Workers. In my case I am passionate in my development work in my own native land here in the Cordillera Administrative Region.

Perhaps the stories of embarrassment or the passing grade of 75 was just a piece of the cake, because what really happened was she inspired and motivated us.  Professor Sylvia really prepared us well in our career.  Of course, I also thank our other professors, Madam Marietta Molina and Florita Paragas. Without them there will be no BS Social Work in Saint Louis University.

Unfortunately, our hearts were all broken when our dearest Maám Sylvia was hit with that big C in 2006. It was hard for her I know because she’s passionate not just in teaching but also in promoting Social Justice. She battled with cancer and even in her weak body she still managed to teach. Thousands of us, who were her past and present students, joined her fight through faith and prayer.

Notwithstanding, the heavens welcomed our beloved teacher in November 2010. For now she is physically gone forever. But then a piece of her will forever remain in our hearts. Her advocacy on better standard of living and Social Justice will continue to multiply in many parts of the world as long as we are here to make it happen. We are her legacy and as we go deeper into the development work we choose, may Maam Sylvia will  continue to touch lives through us.

May you rest in peace Maam Sylvia and I knew that where ever you are, you know how much we loved you.

x

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